The Mind Behind Love

You apologize before you speak. You soften your needs. You say, “It’s okay,” even when it’s not. Why? Because deep down, you fear being too much—for someone else to handle.The fear of being a burden is one of the most invisible emotional wounds. It often hides behind politeness, independence, or self-sacrifice. You may seem like the “easygoing” friend, the “low-maintenance” partner, or the “resi..

It’s not love if your nervous system is always in overdrive. That’s anxiety—and it’s asking for safety, not romance.Many people confuse anxiety for chemistry. The butterflies. The obsession. The constant waiting. It feels exciting—until it feels exhausting. Anxious love keeps you chasing clarity that never comes. You’re not building connection; you’re fighting for reassurance.Why Anxious Love Fe..

We don’t fall for what’s good for us—we fall for what feels like home. And sometimes, home was chaos.Have you ever felt instantly connected to someone—like you’ve known them forever? That sense of “familiarity” can feel romantic, even magical. But often, it’s not magic. It’s your nervous system recognizing an emotional pattern from the past. And that pattern isn’t always healthy.Why Familiarity ..

It’s not love we’re chasing—it’s the validation we never received.Have you ever found yourself clinging to someone who never fully chose you? You give more, try harder, wait longer—hoping that one day, they’ll return the love you offer. But what if this pattern isn’t about them at all, but about your own beliefs about self-worth?The Deeper Psychology Behind This PatternChildhood wounds: Those wh..

Love should be warm and safe, but for some, it feels like walking into a fire.Have you ever loved someone deeply—only to watch them pull away just when things got serious? This emotional pattern, often called "love avoidance," is more common than we think. And it usually hides a history of emotional pain, attachment anxiety, or deep-rooted self-doubt.Why Love Feels Dangerous to SomeFear of rejec..

Why does choosing yourself feel like betrayal?You say no to something you don’t want. You take a day off. You set a boundary. And suddenly, guilt floods in. Not because you did something wrong — but because you finally did something for yourself.This guilt is not a sign that you’re selfish — it’s a sign you were trained to self-abandon.If your worth was tied to being “good,” “helpful,” or “selfl..

Does being in control make you feel safe?On the surface, control looks like strength. You make the plans, keep things organized, and handle problems quickly. People may even admire your decisiveness and drive. But beneath the surface, control is often fueled by fear — the fear of things falling apart, of being hurt, or of not being good enough unless everything is under your watch.Real confidenc..

Why do we keep ending up in relationships that hurt?You meet someone kind. They communicate well. They respect your boundaries. And yet... something inside you feels off. Maybe even bored. Meanwhile, the moment someone inconsistent or emotionally distant shows up, your heart races. You feel "chemistry." You feel "pulled."This isn’t love. It’s recognition. You're not drawn to them because they’re..

Love Psychology Series – Episode 8: Why We Feel Addicted to the Wrong PersonYou know they’re not good for you. They make you anxious, confused, even hurt— but you still wait for their message. You still hope. You still stay.It doesn’t feel like a relationship. It feels like a craving. In this post, Dr. Paul Lee breaks down why we can feel emotionally addicted to someone who’s not right for us, a..

Love Psychology Series – Episode 7: Why We Chase Love That Hurts UsYou know it isn’t good for you. They pull away, disrespect you, or leave you feeling empty. And yet, you can’t stop going back. You call it love—but it feels more like pain.In this post, Dr. Paul Lee explores why we sometimes become addicted to the very relationships that wound us, what psychological patterns keep us stuck, and h..