Love Psychology Episode 14: When You Always Fall for Potential Instead of Reality

When You Always Fall for Potential Instead of Reality

They weren’t consistent, kind, or ready—but you kept hoping they’d become all three.

There’s a romantic trap many people fall into: We meet someone who isn’t quite right—but something about them sparks hope. So we stay, invest, and wait. Not for who they are now, but for who they might become. This is what it looks like to fall for potential instead of reality.

Why We Romanticize Potential

• We see the good in others: Empaths and emotionally intelligent people often notice hidden strengths before they’re expressed.
• We fear being “too picky”: We settle for possibility rather than face the loneliness of letting go.
• We’re addicted to hope: Hoping for change feels safer than confronting the truth of incompatibility.

The Emotional Cost

Loving potential is exhausting. It means:

• Waiting for someone to grow while putting your own needs last
• Making excuses for red flags and inconsistencies
• Feeling lonely inside a relationship that never truly meets you

Eventually, you realize: You’ve been loyal to a fantasy, not a partner.

How to Ground Yourself in Reality

Healing means choosing partners based on who they are today—not who they might become.

• Notice patterns, not promises
• Ask: “If nothing changed, could I accept them as they are?”
• Trust actions more than words or potential

Books That Help You Go Deeper

1. Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood – Exploring why we stay in unfulfilling relationships.
2. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle – Training your mind to stay rooted in the present, not in imagined futures.
3. Deeper Dating by Ken Page – A soulful guide to finding real, meaningful connection.