Emotional Healing Series – Episode 9: When You Keep Saying "I’m Fine" But You’re Not
Emotional Healing Series – Episode 9: When You Keep Saying "I’m Fine" But You’re Not
“I’m fine.” It’s what you say when you’re anything but. You smile, keep busy, stay productive—while a storm rages quietly inside.
This post by Dr. Paul Lee explores the hidden emotional cost of saying "I’m fine" when you're not, why we do it, and how to slowly replace that armor with honesty, self-connection, and healing.
1. "I’m Fine" Is a Mask We Learn Early
If you grew up in an environment where emotions were seen as weakness or inconvenience, you learned that your feelings weren’t safe to share. So you created a mask: calm, capable, composed.
That mask protected you. But now it’s suffocating you—because no one can support the pain they can’t see.
2. You Don’t Want to Be a “Burden”
Many emotionally resilient people struggle with vulnerability not because they’re cold— but because they’re scared to inconvenience anyone.
You believe your job is to hold space for others, not take up space yourself. So even when your heart is breaking, you smile and say, “I’m fine.”
3. Emotional Suppression Doesn’t Heal You—It Hides You
When you suppress your feelings, you don’t become stronger—you become invisible. And invisible pain festers. It leaks into your body, your relationships, and your self-worth.
The longer you hide what hurts, the deeper the disconnect becomes.
4. Honesty Is the Beginning of Healing
Start by telling the truth to yourself: “I’m not okay right now—and that’s okay.” Let that small truth soften your edges.
You don’t need to share everything with everyone. But you do need one space—one person—where “I’m fine” isn’t your default.
Conclusion: You Deserve to Be Seen—Even in Pain
Your pain is valid. Your struggles matter. You don’t have to shrink, pretend, or mask what’s real to be loved.
Let “I’m fine” become “I’m hurting, and I’m trying.” That shift is not weakness—it’s the beginning of truth. And truth is where healing begins.
Written by Dr. Paul Lee
Founder of The Mind Behind Love
📘 Books That Help You Go Deeper
- The Language of Emotions by Karla McLaren – Learn how emotions are signals, not enemies.
- It’s OK That You’re Not OK by Megan Devine – A compassionate guide for embracing grief and emotional truth.
- Permission to Feel by Marc Brackett – Teaches how emotional suppression affects our well-being and how to reverse it.